The Elusive 34’s

My 34 story:

My Uncle Roger is the only one on the Williams side that I speak to, and who I view as a father figure. He can be a bit gruff and sometimes crass, but always has a loving spirit about him. It seems every visit he says something that gets under my skin, so my strategy for our last visit was to strike first……

He got into the car….. (this was going to be sooo easy….)

I rub his belly….. “Put on a few pounds there Roger”…… YES!!!….. preemptive strike…… I’m awesome!!! I’m like a cut-down sniper……. LEGEND-DAIRY………

Rogers Response:
“What!?!? You look pregnant…. When are you expecting????” “What size waist are you wearing? Mine is 34….. It’s always 34…. I’ll be damned if I wear anything larger than a 34” “There might be times when I put on my 34’s and they are screaming tight, but I’ll be damned if I go up a waist size”

Note: I tell him I’m wearing 36’s, but am wearing 38’s, and probably need to be in a 40.


Flash to Christmas this year:
My Outlaw (mother in-law) gets me shorts, 34’s…… I can’t wear 34’s, plus they’re IZOD….. when I was in high school I wouldn’t be caught dead in IZOD, much-less IZOD from Sears (I had bad Garanimals experience). So for Christmas, mother in-law shorts two sizes too small………. My new goal…… Yes, I will wear those shorts…… I will, get, into, those, shorts……. (thanks Ma).

I will get into those shorts, and will visit Roger this summer………

My new goal.

The Elusive 34's......